Worry

Me looking thinner!

I have so much on my mind right now.  I’ve been out of work for almost two years, despite submitting resumes every week and lowering my salary requirements.  I’ve had no more than four calls, and two were from agencies.  The most current was a job I’m perfect for, but the company is giving priority to an internal candidate. My resume hasn’t been rejected, but it’s more than two weeks.  My unemployment insurance ends on December 31, and that’s a little less than four months away, so I’m worried. 

Christmas is coming, too, and when living paycheck to paycheck, it’s more a cause for stress.  Figuring out a way to give my daughter a Christmas occupies a lot of my head space, even though I know that things will turn out alright in the end.  And if it’s not alright, then it’s not the end.

These thoughts strike me as somewhat ironic. When I was working, I had no idea how hard it could be for families out of work.  Well, I’ve learned.  Leslie and I have matured a lot over the last two years. We’ve really identified the line that exists between what we need and what we want, and we rarely cross it.  If we do, it’s for our daughter; and she’s such a team player that she asks for very little.

When I was working, I spent a lot of time pondering the difference between time and money, and realizing I seem to have one or the other. When I was working, I had very little time. Now that I’m not working, I’ve had lots, and I’ve used it wisely.  I’ve made lots of art. Done lots of blogging.  I’m working on and am half way through my first novel, and I’m having loads of fun with the Art Guild of Pacifica. There are a few shows coming up like the AGP Member’s Show (I want to make a new piece for that), and the big Galleria, which showcases open walls and a salon style show.  I really enjoy AGP.  And, of course, I had bariatric weight loss surgery in June.  I’ve lost more than 60 pounds already and am happy every day that I had it done.

At least we’ve always been able to pay the mortgage. I don’t want that to change.

I’ll end up registering with a couple of temp agencies and falling back on the secretarial skills my grandmother (rip) insisted I get coming out of high school.

Whatever it takes.